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It was early in the morning, the day before the National Speakers Association’s annual conference, “Influence”, in Denver’s Gaylord Resorts, a huge hotel for conferences. I was wandering around when I heard this:
“I need volunteers, can you help?” – a man in his 60’s eagerly asked me. I did not know who he was, we were perfect strangers. He then explained that the next day (which was the first day of the three-day conference of the NSA), he would be the first speaker, but what he was going to present would involve hands-on participation by the entire audience of more than 800 people, and he would need as many volunteers as he could round up, “to hold the boards everyone will break,” he told me. “Meet me and all the volunteers at noon, there! I will explain everything and train all the volunteers. Oh, I am Brian Biro, I am going to talk about breakthroughs tomorrow,” he extended his hand with a big, enthusiastic, ear-to-ear smile.
I could feel a palpable passion in his voice and in his firm handshake, so contagious that there was no way for me to say no, and he left no room for negotiation either. “OK, I will find out,” I did not turn him down but I did leave room for me to find out first.
However, at noon, I was deep in conversation with someone and I almost missed the group training. When I finally got there at 12:25pm, Brian was wrapping it up with a large group of volunteers he “recruited” in the morning – all attendees of the Conference.
“Sorry I am late, do you still need me?” I asked. He replied: “I will give you a private lesson!”
Then he explained: “Tomorrow, everyone will EXPERIENCE their breakthroughs by breaking a wood board,…”
“Like in Tae Kwon Do? My sons are black belts!” I said.
“Yes, but most people have never practiced Tae Kwon Do and will learn it by breaking boards with YOUR help, on the spot!”
“But I have never broken a board myself!”
“Your job is to hold the board for them, like this,” he assured me, and showed me:
“You hold the board at the same level of their elbow, don’t hold it in front of your face! You bend one leg in the front. Tell them this: They must lock eyes with yours, and NOT look at the board – if they look at the board when their lower palm is about to hit it, they will NOT break it. That’s one of the things I want to teach them: Focus on your goal BEYOND the barrier, not ON the barrier. They cannot use their fingers and the hand only (right-handed or left-handed), they must use the lower bottom of the hand while swinging their body forcefully, using the body to push the hand through the board.”
“Remember ‘L.E.A.D’: L – Lock your elbows; E: eye contact; A – Adjust: Let the person who is taller than you adjust to YOUR height, not the other way around; D – Dedication, do it with full dedication to make sure each person in your group will break the board.”
“After everyone in your group is done, you can try to break it yourself, if you want.” Brian said.
I memorized and practiced a few times, until my mind and body remembered what to do.
I was assigned to Area 75 at the very back of the Conference Hall the next day, where three people were sitting. There was a board and a pen under every seat.
Brian on the vast stage passionately shared with the audience what he told me the day before, and asked everyone to write these in the center of the board: on one side is what personally was blocking each person from achieving a specific goal; and on the other side, what they desired to achieve after breaking through the obstacle written on the reverse side.
“I wanted to write my book for a long time, but just could not get around to it”, said Brian. “Me too!” I almost shouted out.
“So what I wrote on the breaking side was: procrastination. On the other side was: my book, sharing my passion, joy,” Brian said.
“Some people wrote down their personal goals such as beating cancer, losing 100 lbs, starting a business… you write down whatever breakthrough you desire, and after you break the board, take it home with you!” Brian could hardly contain his enthusiasm. “OK, I ask each volunteer for your group to stand up, and find your spot. Everyone in your group, one by one, give your board to your volunteer leader who will hold your board, you have three tries to break through!”
The entire Conference Hall suddenly became noisy and boisterous, when all 800+ people stood up. Since I was at the back, I saw from the corner of my eyes a few people chickened out and left. I demonstrated and explained again to all three in my group about bending the front leg first, looking into my eyes and not at the board, “pretend that my eyes have what you really WANT, but the board is PREVENTING you from getting what you want, so don’t look at the board, look at my eyes if you want to break through!” “Swing your upper body and turn it with force while using the lower palm of your hand to hit the board!”
The first person who came forward was a man in his 30’s, not tall, and was eager to do it. I did not want him to strike prematurely, while I was positioning the board at his elbow level. “When I am ready, on the count of three, you break it!” Then I firmly planted my feet (I had kicked off my shoes, with socks on my feet only to have a better grip on the carpet floor). My left leg bent at the front, locked my elbows, and looked at him in the eyes, “One, Two, THREE!”
I could feel his energy, determination, and focus as he stared right into my eyes, swung his body, and his hand broke right through the board on his first try!
We all shouted: Yeah! I could hear the same shouting, chanting, clapping from different groups in the huge hall.
Next was a woman in her 40’s. When I was ready, we locked eyes as if looking through each other with intense energy. When she swung her body and reached toward the board, her eyes were fixed on mine and I could feel the power coming through. She broke the board on her first try.
The last one was a woman in her late 20’s or early 30’s. She was standing straight instead of bending her front leg. I was trying to show her to lower her front leg, just to find out that she was wearing a tight mini skirt that could not bend.
On her first try, her gaze moved from looking at my eyes to the board at the last second, right before her palm hit the board. I did not feel the power, focus, and determination coming toward me, which I had felt from the previous two people. She did not break it.
“Ouch! My hand!” She shook her hand, she shook her right hand in the air in pain.
“Ok, second try!” She was eager to do it again, and I knew she was not giving it the proper focus and mental preparation.
“You were looking at the board, and you did not swing your body enough.” I said to her, she then pivoted her upper body to practice. “You need to bend your front leg”, I tried to bend her front knee but the tight skirt was restrictive.
The second time, her hand landed on my fingers on the edge. Failed again.
I knew she would fail on her third attempt if she continued the same pattern. So I asked the other two to chant her name and give her support. “Sarah! Sarah! Sarah! …” This was what Brian had taught me the day before: The whole group would support each attempt by a member who did break on the first try.
While they were chanting her name, I looked her in the eyes, feeling like a superhero, and said: “Ready? One, Two, THREE!!!”
She turned her body as if doing a rock and roll dance, and her hand knocked on the board, but did not break it. “Ouch! This is hurting my hand!” She exclaimed.
After some time, she tried again with the neighboring group. I observed that she was taking her time, instead of rushing to it, she focused her mind for a long time, then her entire body was thrusting with her hand with such determination, the board broke! “Yes!!!” We all shouted and clapped.
Then I stepped forward and asked the first guy to hold my board for me. I had already written down these on one side: “Procrastination. Books. Fear”. At the bottom: “Vision + Breakthrough Belief + Action = Breakthrough!” “What could be, not ‘was’, not memory!”
On the other side, I wrote these: “Energy! Abundance! Freedom! Travel!” At the bottom: “Dedicated to my sons.”
Now I had the perspective of the board breaker, rather than the board holder: The board was right in my face, intimidating. I had doubts creeping up in my mind: “I am using my right arm, which had rotator cuff injuries before, will it hold up?”
Then, I said to myself: “It is all in my mind. If I BELIEVE that I can break through, I WILL break through!”
I felt that I must break through with my first try, since I already taught them how to do it, and they succeeded, I had no excuse not to walk my own talk.
So I locked eyes with the man holding the board, swung my body, and said to myself: “There is my book!”
The board broke on the first try.
At the end of the day, everyone I met was talking about what a great experience it was trying to break their board. Many could not break it on the first try but succeeded with multiple attempts.
I shared my group’s stories and said: “If I did not volunteer, if I did not learn to teach others how to do it, I bet that I would have tried multiple times, and I might have not even wanted to try, excusing myself with a rotator cuff injury.”
In serving others, I have empowered myself and elevated my own mindset.
In leading others, I have strengthened myself beyond my own limitations.
“Joanne, you should write this down, and publish it!” a friend said.
In writing this down, I have further reinforced my determination.
I am writing my first book on building a personal brand for leaders, and will publish it within a year, if not sooner.
Oh, BTW, I packed two boards in my suitcase and will give them to my two sons as a gift, for them to break through their own obstacles.
© Joanne Z. Tan All rights reserved.
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